So time has been lost. Years have passed. Only the slowly diminishing future lies ahead. How does one live in the light of the not too distant? Since, admittedly, I lack experience in living life well, how do I chart a new and better course for the future that I have left? Lacking the kind of navigational skills sufficient to the task of traversing well this life’s ocean of decisions, what will be my hallmarks for finally making good choices? Choices that are both healthy for me and those I love? What will be my touchstones for deciding, “Am I making a good choice or just another misguided one?” Well I have reached a few decisions in this regards.
First, close the circle. Seriously consider who should be allowed in the circle and base that decision person by person. Because some have a name: cancer. Their presence in the circle, no matter what they seem to bring in terms of resource or supposed benefit, will suck the life from you. They will appear to promise much. It will be a lie. They will try to kill your soul and the soul of anyone else they touch. Like a slinking succubus they will suck life from the very air you breath. Don’t let them in.
Second, build a boundary of protection around yourself around that circle. You will need it. Guard the walls with vigilance. Many will call you selfish. Ignore those voices and focus on your own self-care so that you can care for those in the circle.
Third, love deeply and give generously to those in the circle. These are your people. Love them. Give to them. Do everything you can for them. They are yours and you are theirs. Embrace this and live fully into it.
Fourth, make sure you are the most important person in the circle. If you don’t you will regret it. You will fail everyone in your circle because you will be a shell of what you could have been. You will be unable to help, encourage, love fully, anyone in your circle. You will be unable to maintain 1-3 above. The boundaries will erode and the dike will fail and you will drown in the demands of those who are professional “takers”. Don’t let this happen to you. It will hurt not just you but those you love, and should love, the most.
Fifth, defend the circle and everyone in the circle against the whims and demands of those outside the circle who lurk like the vultures they are. These are boundaries worth defending. Every decision you make runs the risk of giving ground or the reward of standing firm. Your circle is where you can be the person you were meant to be. Have the life you always could have had. Every surrender is a night waking, life sapping, breath gasping, dread filled moment that will come back to endlessly haunt you and rob you of real rest.
Do NOT surrender now! Because if you don’t you will begin to become fully aware of your self worth and it will become increasingly difficult for you to yield to the voices, both the internal voices and the external ones, of criticism, ridicule, and doubt. And then. Finally then you will begin to have and live the life you were meant to have. In the not too distant.